Finding Your Why

Hello, loves! Welcome back to the blog, I’m so glad you’re here! Today’s topic is Finding Your Why, which was voted on in an Instagram poll! If you want to vote on the next one, follow me by clicking here.

Okay, honesty time. It took me a LONG time to find a “why” other than “I’m tired of eating instant noodles and working a 9-5”, because let me tell you, girl I’m still doing both. I’m doing both now with an executable goal though! I can afford my own place, my own groceries, and I’m getting there. It’s a struggle every day, believe me. But the dream is worth it. When I first started Senner of Attention, I was just following a feeling and got starry-eyed thinking I could come straight out of college as a rich entrepreneur. Let’s just let that soak in for a minute. I know, I know. I was 19 and INSANE. Now I’m 23 and just as insane, but for different reasons. Needless to say, I was without an endgame. I had no idea where I was going, I was aimless.

It wasn’t until I dug deeper into the questions, “What are your long and short term goals?”, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10?”, and so on, that I began to realize that my crazy idea of doing all the stuff I was planning on doing for just money wasn’t gonna cut it. Coincidentally, these are typical questions that people ask you at job interviews… As you can see I was on the hunt for MONEY. I was totally engulfed by my first ever regular bill- student loans, DUN DUN DUN! I had also just started paying my car payment and those 2 bills combined totaled the entirety of what I used to make in a month at RIta’s. I had a one track mind and I got myself a real people job! It was alright, but it had nothing to do with what I actually wanted to do- events! By then, I decided that I really needed to go for it or just stop trying. So I contacted Meghan! For those of you who have been following since the beginning, the rest is history! For those of you just tuning in, Meghan of Chicka Artistica and I met for the first time a little over 2 years ago and immediately dove into hosting a huge vendor expo at the Chase Center on the Riverfront together. We learned A TON from that experience, and became best friends during the whole crazy thing!

From there I realized what it really meant to be an entrepreneur. It meant that there would be sleepless nights, either from fear of failure or working late. FOR FREE. I was consumed by this event, cried countless times, went even crazier, and Meghan and my fiancé and family had to piece me back together multiple times throughout the whole process. I realized after just barely breaking even from the event and losing my job early into the planning stages that I needed a better reason than money. Over the course of the next year I would work at 2 more jobs- the first one I only lasted at for 3 months. I barely just made my 90 day cut before I quit unceremoniously. I was lost and angry and raged against the idea of a 9-5 job because I thought there was no possible way I could find joy from it. The second one was for a fellow boss babe. It was a part time job and I welcomed the idea of having all the time in the world to work on my business and learn from someone who had experienced more success than me! During my time there, I found it. My “Why”.

I will forever cherish my time spent during that year just figuring out what the heck I wanted to do with my business and who I wanted to be when I grew up. It took a lot of growing pains and don’t get me wrong, there were days where I had total doubt in my ability to actually pull it off. I figured out that my journey as an entrepreneur needed a purpose bigger than myself. I started the #bossbabe art series (now called Audacieux), which gave proceeds back to the Senegal Girls Home. It was my small way of trying to work towards something for someone other than myself. Now it’s flourished into something way more than I originally planned, and there’s still more to come! The #bossbabe art series sparked something in me, an idea and a passion I never knew I had. The whole idea behind #bossbabe was to empower and encourage women of all walks of life and of all pasts and futures. This slowly tugged at my heart and I began planning for bigger things.

I realized that what I wanted for my life needed bigger resources. Yes, I went on the hunt for money again- but this time with a purpose and plan for it other than what I WANTED. This brought me to Dover Country Club and all that entails. The wonderful people I work with, the love for nurturing relationships with all kinds of everybody, the ability to gain independence, the ability to work harder for my dreams. I decided in January 2018 that I would just surrender (that was my word for 2018!) to where God wanted me to be, I would go where He sent me, and not complain about where it led me! I took the better part of 2018 to get in the flow of life with a full time job, moved to my own apartment, got engaged, got a niece!, had all kinds of experiences, got my real estate license, and so much MORE. This allowed me to find even more “Why”s! I then began to plan for 2019 and what I wanted to do with my business FOR others. I now have even more reasons and plans and dreams all geared towards empowering women, giving back, and following a life I love and the life that God has planned for me.

Here’s a list of my “Why”s!

-My fiancé and family/being able to one day support a family of my own

-Supporting women from all walks of life, whether it be with a motivational quote, blog post, personal encouragement, providing graphic design to further a business, providing tools with which to create, you name it!

-Spreading the Gospel! Sharing my faith in God has been a long journey. I struggled for a long time, wondering if people would unfollow or judge me negatively for being so open about my faith. Now I know it’s absolutely necessary to share!

-Eventually becoming financially independent enough to do all of this full time so I can give ALL of me to it.

-Following all avenues that lead to helping people. In any way.

I hope this inspires you to dig deeper into yourself and find what will give you the drive to keep going even when the going gets tough. And it will certainly get tough- tougher than you ever imagined. When things start to go downhill, there’s nothing better than your “Why”s to get you through. <3